Thursday, 31 December 2015

Your New Year's SOLUTION!

What's your 2016 New Year's SOLUTION?

No, it's not a typing error!

Most people I know don't bother with New Year's Resolutions any more.  Let's face we just don't stick to them, do we?

The most successful changes these days are made - and intended to only last - short term.  Think about Dry January or Stop Smoking October.  Most of us can make changes for a month!

Whilst there is research that says we only need to do (or not do) something for 21 days for it to become a habit (or not!), if we only intend to make the change for 31 days then we're just focussing on the 32nd day when we can go back to our old ways!

So what has caused you a problem in 2015?  

Why is it a problem?
Why do you want to change?
Make the reasons as strong as you possibly can.  Remember we move away from pain much faster and easier than we move towards pleasure.  The stick works better than the carrot!  So how is the problem affecting your health, wealth or happiness?

Now, how are you going to SOLVE that problem?

What's your New Year's SOLUTION?

(Remember you can't change other people, you can only change yourself).

What is the FIRST step you are going to take to SOLVE your problem?

Do it, schedule it, diarise it, organise it.  NOW!

Happy 2016!

Wednesday, 2 December 2015

In the news's in your genes!

So it seems that Gene Taq1A plays a role in processing the hormone dopamine in the brain.  Dopamine is linked to a feeling of pleasure and reward but is also released in smokers.  So "experts" have discovered that anyone with this gene will find it harder to quit smoking.

Fortunately, if you have the A2 version of the gene you will find it easier to stop smoking!

Now this Chinese research was taken from pooled data from 22 studies involving nearly 10,000 people so far be it from me to question the findings!

Of course another study found that the gene known as CYP2A6 also makes it harder to stop smoking.

Oh dear! More ways to make it harder to stop smoking!  More reasons why people can't stop!

Many of my clients talk about hypnotherapy with me being their "last chance" to stop smoking.  They've tried "everything" and not stopped or stopped for a while then started again.

I explain that trying things that don't work doesn't make them failures!  Patches, Zyban, Champix, e-cigs all have their place but all have a very low proven success rate when it comes to helping anyone quit smoking.  You try them.  You fail.  You think you can't stop.

Well I think you're wrong!

Hypnotherapy generally does have one of the highest success rates.

I just wish I could test all my thousands of clients for theTaq1A and A2 genes - just as a matter of interest!!

Thursday, 29 October 2015

Stoptober #fail?

Have you been trying really hard during October not to drink alcohol? Or maybe you've been trying really hard to stop smoking?

Are you "dying for Sunday" when you can drink or smoke again?

Why is it SO HARD to stop smoking?  Is it because it's SO ADDICTIVE?  Or because you're SO WEAK?  NO!!!!

It's because you taught your unconscious mind an automatic habit and it's job is now to KEEP DOING IT!!

It's the same principle as driving.  You learn and at first it's hard, you make mistakes (crash the gears, crash the car!) and then it just "clicks".  Now you can do it.  Now you can drive.  And you never really have to think about it again.  In fact it's best if you don't think about it.  Let it happen.  Automatically.

Of course it can be the same with drinking.  Do you get home and open a bottle or a can?  Or go to the pub after work? Or maybe you go out on a Friday or Saturday night and drink one drink after another after another after another...

You developed a habit.  You're not an addict.  You're not an alcoholic.  You learned a process and your unconscious mind just kept doing it for you.

So when Stoptober comes around - or New Year's Resolutions - or your birthday - you try really hard. And you stop.  You don't stop thinking about smoking or drinking though do you?  You think about it all the time?  It drives you crazy!!!

Then finally it's the first of November, or the end of January or Friday night !!  And you're back.

You didn't break the habit.  You didn't break the connection at the unconscious level.

Some people will stop completely, forever with willpower or as some like to call it "cold turkey".

Some won't.  In fact the majority of people won't stop.  They will start again at some point.  They think they can "just have one".  Their mind - or their friends - persuade them they can "just have one" that they're in control.   You've been there haven't you?

But it's just like riding a bike or driving a car.  You didn't forget how to do it (whatever it is).  And now you're back.  To Square One.

It's why I'm here.  The NLP and hypnotherapy processes I use get into your unconscious mind and break the habit at the that level.  So you don't have to think about smoking ever again.  You don't automatically open a bottle or can when you get home because you, once again, YOU have a choice!

Read some of the letters from my clients and you'll see what we can do.

I can give you a choice.

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Tuesday, 20 October 2015

Christmas IS coming!

Two months on Sunday.  Yes, that's right, two months on Sunday it will be Christmas Day.

Does that fill you with dread?

There's the normal type of dread.  Maybe you haven't bought a single present yet - and have no idea what to get.  Maybe you haven't started soaking your dried fruit in rum.

Then there's that horrible, underlying anxiety.  That dread deep inside which says "oh no" another Christmas.

I'm sure there's been loads of research about how anxiety for many, is a major issue around Christmas.

Me, my hubsand and my son always spent Christmas with my parents.   Sometimes we'd stay for a few days, eating together, watching TV,  visiting friends and relatives.

After Mum died it was harder.  For one thing I had to start doing all the cooking!  But we still all got together.

In 2010 I took Dad to my brother's in New Zealand - we had a great "family" Christmas with the grandchildren and great-granchildren.

But then my Dad died and there's just the three of us.  And it's just not the same.

There are two major causes of anxiety for some people when they think about Christmas.
One is the thought of having to socialise, mingle, eat, drink and be merry with "the family".
The other is the thought of being alone.

One event, two ends of the spectrum, one emotion.  Anxiety.

You can read advice in all the magazines and newspaper columns.  What you could do.  What you should do.  How to change your feelings.

The way I deal with it is to treat it as any other day.  Nothing more.  Nothing less.  Anixety is just thinking about something.  Giving it more meaning than perhaps it deserves.

I won't presume to give you any more advice. Except this.  It's another day.  It will be over soon.

Friday, 16 October 2015

How To Start a New Habit

As you know I'm all about breaking habits, stopping doing things. But how do you start a new habit?

Well let's think about the logic.  To break a habit we need to break a connection.  Think of the things you do, automatically, without thinking about it.  For example having a biscuit with a cup of tea or a cigarette with a coffee.  Every time!  You don't think about - you've done it before you think about it.
You get in a car and drive it.  What do you do first? Next? Are you sure? The pattern is that one thing happens then the next, then the next.  You don't have to think about it anymore because you've programmed yourself.

If you practise something enough times it will become a habit.  Research tells us it is 21 times.  So after 21 times the habit is established.

But what about the first 21 times?  How can you remember when something isn't yet a habit? How can you form a new habit?

Well go back to the beginning.  Our minds make connections.  Everytime this happens I do this.  Every time. There's a trigger effect.

So to start a new habit we need to link it to something else that we already do.  Something we always do.  Without thinking about it!

Would you like to start exercising?  What do you do every day already?  You get out of bed.  So how about putting your trainers by the bed and stepping straight into them when you get up?

I have a joke.  It's a weak joke I know but I quite like it!  Have you heard of kettle bells?  Those weights in the shape of a very old fashioned kettle?  Do you know why they are called kettle bells (they certainly don't resemble today's modern kettles!)  Here's the joke: because you keep them by the kettle!!!  OK I know it's not that funny but if you did keep some weights by the kettle you could lift them a few times everytime you put the kettle on.  You wouldn't forget because they'd be there.  Waiting for you.

If you do have a tendency towards putting the kettle on quite often then the kettle is an ideal trigger.  Do you need to drink more water?  Every time you put the kettle on have a glassof water.

A lot of my clients come to me because the have a habit they want to break.  A common one is opening a bottle of wine or beer when they get home from work.  Get home. Take off shoes.  Open bottle.   So if you want to exercise more maybe change it to get home, take off shoes, run up and down stairs twice. Or get home, take off shoes, drink water.

I'm simplifying here but I think you'll get the idea!

To develop a new habit:

1. Choose something you want to do regularly.
2. Choose something you already do regularly.
3. Link the thing you want to do to the thing you already do.
4. Continue for 21 days/times and notice if you're then doing the new habits without noticing!

Of course to break a habit:

1. Call me
2. Come for a session of NLP and Hypnosis
3. Break the Habit
4. Help yourself by putting a positive new habit in place of the old negative habit.

Remember my new number 0113 834 5424
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Wednesday, 18 March 2015

Menopausal moments

If you're a woman in your 40s, 50s or 60s you're either worrying about the menopause, suffering from the menopause or getting over the menopause!

First of all let me say - ME TOO!  So I know a little bit about how you're feeling, how it's affecting your life.

Of course we're all different - I'm told that some people breeze through these years of their lives without any issues at all - and yet others suffer every day.

Hot flushes, problems with sleeping, stress and anxiety, weight gain.  The list goes on.

And at the same time we've got the usual problems of getting older.  We worry about our looks and our general health.  Our jobs get harder.  Our kids leave home - or come back!  Our parents need our help more.  Our parents pass away.

There are hundreds of books and websites about how to cope with the menopause.  The Daily Mail are currently running a daily series on how to cope.  They talk about anti-depressants and other drugs too often for my liking.

Some of us may just need a bit more support from our friends and families.

Some of us may need to review our jobs and working lives.

Some of us may need to change our eating habits, our drinking habits, lose a bit of weight, learn to manage stress.

Here are my four steps to feeling better:

1. Call me and get a copy of my Stress Relief CD.  It will help you relax, feel better and sleep better.
2. Call me and let me tell you how I can help you cut down on your drinking or change your eating habits.
3. Call me and let me tell you how I can help you reduce stress and anxiety.
4. Call me for a chat.  Sometimes we all just need someone to talk to!

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